No Strings Attached

We’ve all had our share of relationship drama. Whether it’s your mother or your lover, being tangled up with others is no fun. If we could see two people relating dysfunctionally, there would be energetic strings extending from each of them trying to capture power, energy and attention.

Loving others with no strings attached is a very high calling, but leads to inner peace and health. The presence of power struggles or ongoing conflicts indicates that you are entangled.

The way to free yourself is to stop playing your part in the familiar dynamic. Perhaps you feel the need to “teach” the person what’s right, or maybe you run from them as they pursue you. Maybe you resist, or overstate your position, or try to console all the time. It will feel very foreign to disengage – you will feel like you’re are losing the relationship. The truth is you are only losing the strings that strangle the life out of you.

When you refuse to play, the game ends. The strings unravel and you can love the person for who they are. Sometimes the relationship dissolves – in which case, you are making room for more fulfilling connections. Other times, your actions elevate the relationship into health. In my years of counseling and coaching I’ve seen both, and have 100% faith that life releases what is not real and transforms the rest.

Untangling involves honoring yourself and your needs, expressing your preferences, and then letting others make their own choices. When we do this, we rise up the mountain quickly and enjoy time with others who are on the same path.

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