Year: 2007

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The Art of Distraction

I’ve spent my entire career teaching about the fallacy of over-consumption. It makes you feel good initially, but then plunges you into mental, emotional or physical pain. When eating, drinking, shopping, working, etc. distract us from feeling emotion or taking right action we are avoiding – right?

What if distracting ourselves from pain has its place? Is it possible that a carefully placed distraction could be the difference between skating through a bout of melancholy and a downward spiral into clinical depression?

Here’s the thing, sometimes going to the mall to buy a new shirt, or meeting friends for a drink is the most healthy thing you can do for yourself. Maybe a nice, big bowl of Haagen-Dazs vanilla bean ice cream is just what the doctor ordered.

A carefully placed distraction can do a person the world of good. Over-consumption gets sticky (and I do mean sticky) when it is used compulsively or addictively to cope with, or avoid, what’s in front of you.

Let’s be good at coping and use life’s little pleasures to pull ourselves out of the ditch of despair when needed, but if the rope your using is getting a little too comfortable, perhaps it’s time to flex your muscles and climb out the old fashion way.
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Loving Difficult People

Question: How do you love negative people who are toxic to be around?

Answer: There are three steps to this process, all leading to unconditional love.

1. Connect to your internal source of unconditional love, energy, and intuition daily. Wether it’s through meditation, a mindful walk or journaling, the life within you will help you feel loved and supported.

2. Vow to disengage from YOUR portion of the dynamic. Do you listen too long? Do you do too much for them? Do you believe their devaluing words? Do you fight back, feeding a no-win power struggle? Identify your part and stop.

3. Trust yourself. If you remain healthy around a sick person for long enough, either they will change or you will be urged to get some distance from them. I don’t care if it’s your mother – life’s too short for decade after decade of negativity.

Just because we love someone doesn’t mean we have to let them hurt us. In fact, the only way to really love them is to take care of ourselves, rather than leaving it up to them.

God Bless.

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Tribute to Walter

The other night in Fry’s market I met a man named Walter. In between chatting about organic milk, I learned that he used to be a NYC firefighter and was working on 9/11/01. He lost so many friends that day. He and his wife of 20+ years decided to get away and move to AZ. Soon after they divorced.

Walter said he feels that no one remembers what happened. I assurred him that we do.

Sending love to all those we lost and to those who loved them.

By the way, Walter has a business here in AZ – D’Angelo’s Building Maintenance and Repair Service. He does plumbing, heating, cooling and more. 1-866-798-4800.
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Karma vs. Inspiration

Last week I slipped into an old familiar pattern of interacting with a friend. I had created some healthy distance because our relationship wasn’t what I needed it to be. Something came over me though, and I started to forget about the boundaries that I’d so carefully placed between us.
I know what came over me: Karma. Acting from karma is choosing the path of least resistance. The path that is so comfortable that you slide into it without thinking. Behaviors, relationships, thoughts and beliefs are some examples of these old patterns that fit like a glove, and prefer to stay put.

Karma draws us to it magnetically because it has a strong energy field, which is fed each time we re-enact the scene.

Inspiration is different – it is the voice of life coming from the present moment, no strings attached. This voice is lighter, and sometimes fainter. At first we have to override the heavy, loud voice of karma, and even years later it can sneak up and seduce you into its grip.

The voice of life lifts you into health one moment at a time. When we heed this inspired call, the strings attached to unhealthy patterns loosen and eventually release. Then there is only one voice and one choice – the inspired one.
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Attachments

“I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for my life, cause you’re a friend of mine”
– Ray Charles (Originally by Leon Russell)

There is nothing more difficult than releasing unhealthy attachments. However, we are not asked to release our love for one another, just our portion of the unhealthy patterns that bind us together in a sticky way.

Sometimes the relationship falls apart when it’s no longer sticky. Other times, it changes form. Occassionally, the change leads to a deepening of the relationship in its current form.

Regardless of the outcome, our job is the same – letting go of the ways we manipulate others for energy.

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Untangle Yourself from Energy Drains

Picture streams of energy flowing away from you and attaching to different things: your mother, chocolate chip cookies, your job, all the time commitments on your calendar…

A perfectly healthy energy system has free flowing energy and minimal attachments. The attachments that are present are clean, strong and flexible. We join with objects of affection, but don’t get tangled up, confused and drained.

There is only one way to untangle from energy drains, and that is to discontinue your end of any unhealthy interactions with people, work, substances, things, even your thoughts.

Over time the strings release and integrate back into the ground of your being, bringing your energy and light with them. This is the quickest way to enlightenment, freedom and inner peace.

Questions? I’ll do follow-up blog entries with any questions posted in the comments.
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Be Yourself

“Be Yourself” is a chapter heading in my upcoming book. It is also the title of a picture I drew of a lizard that hangs on my refrigerator. It is more than a philosophy or way of life – it is the best way to manage your personal energy.

I was reminded of this today when I found myself completely drained of energy without having the slightest idea why. I finally figured out that I was trying to be someone I’m not. I wasn’t trying to look or act different than myself, I was simply adopting parenting strategies that aren’t me.

It’s subtle stuff. Perhaps it’s trying to do something your boss’ way, or your mother’s, or your husband’s or wife’s way… Being yourself requires constant scrutiny of your actions to see if they come from your values or someone else’s. The price we pay for marching to the beat of another’s drum is energy depletion.

On the other hand, the benefit of marching to the beat of your own drum is calm energy and inner peace. Have you looked at what (or who) is motivating your actions lately?

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Zero Limits

Once in a while a book comes along that lifts up humanity. A couple that come to mind are A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

I’d like to recommend what I consider to be the next book of this magnitude. It is called Zero Limits by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len. I referred to it briefly in a blog entry a few weeks ago. You may remember Joe Vitale from The Secret. He has been one of the teachers in the manifesting camp.

The teachings in this book take us beyond manifesting and into the next level of spiritual evolution. I always felt uneasy about the message contained in The Secret. Not that it’s wrong, but it feels like manipulating life to me. Zero Limits shares this concern and offers a way to move beyond this level and align with the flow of life – sound familiar? Those of you who have read Opening to Life know that my belief is to align with this powerful, creative force and see where it takes you, rather than trying to get life to follow your lead.

I’ll give you a taste of what’s in the book: The words “I love you” are key. I hope you enjoy it.

I love you,
Kim
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Back to School

Summer is coming to an end. I am preparing to teach two communication classes at Scottsdale Community College, the temperature is dropping – ever so slowly, but dropping none the less – and most importantly my daughter is headed back to school!

As much as I love having her around, the haphazard schedule has me off my center. Last night I turned down an invitation to happy hour and one to dinner. Instead I nestled in with a glass of wine and a nice salad.

I took the whole evening to commune with my higher self and get back on track. Life is pushing me out of my comfort zone right now, and I know it’s doing the same for some of you… If there is one thing that helps with metamorphic change, it is being connected to the ONE that never changes.

It usually happens the last 20 minutes of an hour-long run, or half way into an evening alone, but eventually calm energy takes over, conviction replaces doubt, and love envelopes the fear.

As we enter the transformative season of fall, my hope is that we can all ride the waves of change gracefully knowing that the eternal is right there with us.

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Obedience

I wouldn’t consider myself obedient. When I was in high school I lived somewhat dangerously, so much so that my parents almost moved our entire family out of state in the hopes that a new environment would do me some good. I make better choices now but my spirit hasn’t changed much.

Obedience to my higher Self/Life/God is my commitment these days, and oddly enough it often conflicts with what other people feel I “should” do – so even though I’m obedient now I still appear rebellious! Go figure…

Inner peace results when we are obedient to life, yet we’re often asked to do things that make us feel uncomfortable – an oxymoron of sorts. Ultimately however, resisting life’s directives leads to pain not peace.

The question for many is how to hear direction from life. Here are some tips:

  • Create a clean environment – Eat clean, clear your mind through meditation, and heat up your body through exercise so it can burn off any residue blocking your inner voice.
  • Notice where the message comes from – If it comes from fear it is not your higher self.
  • Watch for conviction and inner peace – Directives from your higher self fill you with a sense of conviction and peace
  • Trust yourSELF – If you get a message follow it!

The other day I picked up a book called Zero Limits by Joe Vitale. In it he writes that there are three stages of life: You as the victim, you as the creator of your life, and finally, you as a servant to the divine.