Author: Kimberly Kingsley

A couple weeks ago I wrote an entry called, “Preparation.” It described the steps necessary to increase one’s capacity for receiving, containing, and expressing spiritual energy. One of these steps is to get some healthy distance from toxic people who might otherwise impede our growth. I was asked to expand on this point.

We develop ways of interacting with others at a very young age. Some of these patterns are healthy and support our growth, while others undermine our development. The first step is to become aware of any interactions with others that leave you feeling wilted, deflated, or agitated. Once you are aware, it is time to take responsibility for your contribution to the dynamic and change it.

Some people in your life will support your growth and honor your new boundaries or ways of communicating, others will not. Our job is to express our needs to everyone in our lives. If they are unwilling to respect these needs, the appropriate choice is to back up a little. Sometimes it’s simply talking less or talking about less intimate subjects. Other times it involves ending a relationship completely.

Every relationship challenge is an opportunity for growth, so NEVER throw one away without learning your lesson first – otherwise you’ll attract the same thing over and over…

As you take care of yourself the way a mother would protect her baby, you create the space and security necessary for growth to occur.

I am a spiritual over achiever. The first decade after my spiritual awakening was filled with equal amounts of joy and pain. My belief is that the muck needs to be cleared away in order to become the radiant vessels we were intended to be.

I know a few other spiritual over achievers and I would like to offer a bit of encouragement. Two things come to mind. The first is that you are moving. It may feel like you are coming up against the same issue over and over, but I promise that they are getting smaller each time. The second is that it is so worth it.

Living a life of inner freedom is amazing. Keep walking. Keep weeping. Keep loving – especially yourself.

Last night my Essentials of Personal Energy Management group met. Wed. evenings are the time that we get together and talk about ways to bring more spiritual energy into our bodies and everyday lives. Each member shared incredible insights and supported one another in their victories as they move toward authentic empowerment.

As I left I found myself overflowing with joy – tickled that the group itself seems to be bringing more energy into our beings.

My daughter brought a book home from school yesterday. After dinner we sat on the couch together to read it. It was about a little girl who LOVED her cool male teacher and wanted to be a teacher when she grew up. One day she became disruptive trying to show the class her new purse and ended up getting it taken away. She was sad and then very angry at the teacher, deciding she didn’t want to grow up and be a teacher anymore…

At some point during the day she drew a picture of him saying that he is “fat” and wanted by the FBI and slipped it into his bag. At the end of the day he gave her the purse back. On the way home she opened it to find a note from him saying, “Today was a hard day, tomorrow will be better.” She immediately felt horrible for what she had done and did what she needed to do to make it better.

The author’s portrayal of the humble teacher and the kind gesture of writing that note really struck me as a powerful demonstration of how to relate compassionately with others. What a wonderful world it would be if we all set our egos aside and extended ourselves like that.

Someone commented on my last entry that getting in touch with their inner self was like digging a hole to china with a spoon, and not even speaking Chinese!

Spiritual writings often neglect to talk about the preparation required to achieve a state of bliss. We all need to clear out old emotional residue which blocks our inner voice. We need to discipline our minds so that negative thoughts don’t keep us stuck in the same place year after year. Finally, we need to distance ourselves from toxic people and environments that weigh heavily on the system and impede growth.

Start from where you are. Your inner self is telling you your next step loud and clear. Perhaps it is saying, “Stop smoking,” or “Take time alone regularly.” You already have moments of enlightenment and these moments will turn to hours, days, and then years as you trust yourself and do what you know you need to do now.

“Ego is no more than this: identification with form, which primarily means thought forms.”

– Eckhart Tolle

Last night I got to see a cherished old friend in a dream. It was a special treat, as it has been years… I find dreams to be a rich source of experience and healing. At night the psyche goes to work for us, as would a cleaning service scouring an office building after hours, preparing it for the next day of activity. It pulls up stuff that needs to be released – often clearing out old emotions too overwhelming to face in the light of day.

Other times dreams provide us a glimpse of the future – or a key piece of information. A friend of mine recently had some precious jewelry stolen, after months of wondering who did it, her deceased mother appeared to her in a dream and told her. It was confirmed later that day.

At the level of spirit we are all connected. You can communicate with your higher self or loved ones, dead or alive, through your dreams while your ego is fast asleep. I think I’ll request some adventure tonight!

This past weekend I attended the San Francisco Writer’s Conference. The experience was enriching beyond all expectation. Most of the writers who attended were from the Bay area, which has always been a mecca for writers – think Berkeley… More recently it has attracted more publishing houses, which makes it a natural choice for a conference like this.

I must admit, I was a little nervous because I didn’t know what writers were like! Even though I am a writer myself, I have spent more time in spiritual and healing circles than with writers. I was pleasantly surprised. Writers are some of the most grounded, yet open people I have ever met. It makes sense, to be a successful writer you have to be disciplined and grounded as well as creative.

What I hadn’t considered was how healthy they would be! Writing clears out the psyche. So here we were, staying at the Mark Hopkins on top of Nob Hill, with hundreds of expressive, and often eccentric, writers from the Bay area and beyond.

I participated in a poetry reading, met lots of great contacts and walked up and down Nob Hill each morning for a proper cup of coffee. The only downside to the whole trip is my sore legs.

This past week I received my manuscript back from the agent who provided lots of feedback – suggestions for making it better. It threw me for a loop. I think I was expecting a response something like, “The book is brilliant, we’ll have it published in no time!”

It reminds me that there needs to be a balance between heaven and earth. I tend to live up high, inspired by spirit and overflowing with optimism. In the world of spirit, things are done the moment they are conceptualized. In this world however, time is a factor, as is concrete work.

Today I remind myself that my feet are on the ground and that instant manifestation of my dreams is not necessary – may not even be that fun if you think about it. The agent acted as my earth. For that I am grateful.