Author: Kimberly Kingsley

Most of us are attracted to others based on threads of unfinished business that are either directly connected to the person you’re attracted to, or that tie in nicely with the karmic threads of the person you’re attracted to. For example, someone who has a tendency to run away from conflict might be drawn to someone who can’t let things go. For the first year or so, the threads come together to make a beautiful bow – you feel like you fit perfectly and that you really have no issues. It is only after the honeymoon stage ends that threads start getting tangled, and begin to feel a little constricting.  

There is nothing wrong with this, it is human nature. If there weren’t karmic threads, there wouldn’t be romantic attachment, you would simply have unconditional love without attachments (the exact opposite of Romeo and Juliet passion). Once the perfect bow begins to tangle, there are two options: You can either move into power struggle mode where the knots get tighter and tighter, or you begin to take responsibility for your own issues and move toward health, which will gently unravel your part of the tangled mess.

Once you start moving toward health, your partner will either take responsibility for their part, or not. If so, you two will rise up to a place of untouchable love or gracefully move apart, toward the next level of learning. If the other person does not take responsibility, the union will likely break apart, with the one who learned moving to the next level and the one who didn’t attracting more of the same. The third option – and probably what we see most – is that neither party takes responsibility and the individual and combined issues get more and ingrained, leading to an unhappy couple or a drama-filled break-up.

It takes humility and courage to face our lessons, but the outcome is inner peace and freedom from conflict and drama. Thankfully, it’s never to late to shed our old patterns… The karma waits patiently until we’re ready.

This weekend I went to We Care Spa for a three-day fast. For those of you who are not familiar with We Care, it is a simple retreat center in Palm Springs where you go and fast for a weekend or longer (one woman was there for three weeks).

It is vigorous fasting, and by this I mean full-force. They recommend colonics every day and you drink fiber that expands ten times in your belly to “cleanse” your colon. You take lots of pills – enzymes, probiotics, fiber regulators, green pills, etc. – and fix yourself drinks throughout the day such as the fiber drink I mentioned and other not so tasty drinks. Midday you do get a green/carrot juice which is yummy and at night they serve a pureed single vegetable soup that feels like a feast when you haven’t eaten all day – good times:)

The grounds are breathtaking. The property is in a remote area with spectacular views of the mountains. The air is clear and if you love the desert like I do, it is extremely nourishing to be in that environment. They have great classes – my favorites were yoga and pilates by a beautiful, dreadlock sporting girl named Patricia who personifies the saying, “Be the peace you wish to see in the world.”

I do have to say that the majority of the people who go there are richer than God, which is a bit sureal in a Chanel flipflop sort of way, but they’re all are into wellness and friendly for the most part.

There was only one problem with the whole experience (other than the giant “date beetle” who liked to hang out on my toilet paper roll. Oh yeah, and the fact that you have to put your toilet paper in the trash to avoid clogging the septic tank), I don’t do colonics. Not that I have anything against them or the people who choose to go that utterly invasive route, it’s just that they are a bit too extreme for me. So here I was taking all these pills and all this fiber and not doing colonics to help flush the abundant detox remedies out of my system. My conclusion: If you want a vigorous fast, you need to do the whole program.

I’m more interested in gentle fasts. I LOVE the lemonade fast and will probably only do that one for the rest of my life. You just sip the lemon/maple syrup mixture throughout the day and drink a little fasting tea (read: herbal laxative) at night to assist the removal of toxins while your not ingesting solid food, which is what usually moves things along. I’m reinvigorated about the weekend fasting retreats I host, and am entirely clear that the lemonade approach is a wonderful way to cleanse for those of us who are more moderate minded. 

Meanwhile, I feel ever so thankful for We Care Spa and the lovely staff there who turned me on to the idea of fasting retreats in the first place. And for those who are more vigorously inclined, I would definitely check them out for a weekend, or longer if your the Chanel flipflop wearing kind.

Last night I was reading the end of a great book called The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. He surprised me by including a chapter on death. I’m not sure why I was surprised, as I included a similar section in Opening to Life,despite the fact that my editor urged me to steer clear of this “heavy topic.” In a stern voice (writer’s voice), Singer urges us to contemplate death, stating that it could come at any moment, and reminding us that we all leave our possessions and loved one’s behind eventually.

The irony of this sobering, yet liberating reminder, is that as I was preparing to drive up to Sedona last week death was very much in my awareness. I wasn’t sure why, but I allowed myself to contemplate the idea that life as we know it does end, and when it ends is entirely out of our control. The whole drive to Sedona was permeated with these thoughts, and the next day, as I drove around looking for a particular hike, I got lost and found myself in a cemetery. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the irony of it all. Eventually I found Mystic Trail and went for a gorgeous hike.

The feelings and thoughts of death were gone on the way home and replaced with a sense of power and gratitude for myself and my life. I’m certain that a part of me did die on that small journey – a part I no longer needed. When this happens, we make room for more of the good stuff. I was happy to return home to my baby girl fully intact and in a position to appreciate her and myself even more.

What if we all lived as if every week was our last? Would you live louder? Would you express more love? Would you appreciate the trees and sky as you walked out of your house? Being alive, in a human body, is a gift. I believe that our spirit and soul lives on when we die, but we don’t have our bodies anymore. It is an amazing opportunity to experience life through our senses. To have “gut” feelings, to taste sweet fruit, and to even have “heart” ache.

Life can certainly be bitter-sweet, but it is all sweet to me, simply because it is life.

What if you could hand over all the stories you tell yourself to an all-knowing wizard who could look at them with total objectivity and deliver them back to you in a distilled version containing only the truth?

These could be stories about your relationships, your successes, your “failures” and your fears. Most of us tell ourselves elaborate stories about all sorts of things. Why so and so was rude… Why your parents are the way they are and how it affected you… On and on. We do this with just about everything that happens to us in life until our heads are full of tangled webs of story lines that may or may not be true.

Okay, I get that everything is subjective and that our perception is our reality, but frankly I think the stories we tell ourselves can end up to be confining, and possibly even imprisoning.

Last week I experienced a conflict with someone, which put me in a bit of a tailspin… After a couple days of spinning I’d had enough. I was tired of playing the blame game and coming up with a thousand different reasons to justify my position. So I went into prayer and released the whole thing. I asked that it be returned to me in a distilled nugget of truth.

Shortly, within seconds actually, I received the message that I had given too much of myself to this person in the past and that my present and more balanced behavior is now being perceived as selfish.

That’s all… Nothing too profound – just a view of the situation from above. I said to myself, okay I get it, that’s fine, and I still need to do what feels right to me even if it’s being perceived as selfish. A younger, more people pleasing version of myself would never have been okay with being perceived as selfish, but I was strangely fine with it! This nugget, which was fairly small, gave me enough information to move on and stop thinking about the conflict.

Had I not asked for a distilled nugget of truth, I may still be weaving rich tapestries of fiction, which would take up way to much space in my head. I intend to do this with every ongoing story line that I’ve been constructing over the past four and a half decades, and hopefully by the end, my mind will be clear like a bright blue sky ready to receive only the important things in life.

Some of you remember that I was rear-ended in March and my little Audi was totalled. I walked away from that accident with only minor injuries while my car was crunched like an accordion from being pushed into an SUV.

Several weeks later I settled with the insurance company and began shopping for another car. A new Audi was out of the question and most of the used ones cost way more than I had owed on mine.  I started thinking about getting a hybrid for environmental reasons and to simplify my life a little. I had also spotted a used silver Audi that was the same year and model as my previous car. I liked the idea of being more minimalistic though – it felt like the right thing to do. 

I was having a difficult time deciding when one day while washing the dishes I heard my inner voice say, “Life’s short, drive fast.” I immediately thought of the  Audi – my heart’s desire. With conviction, I headed to the dealership the next day and bought it. My old car with about the same amount of miles needed new brakes so I assumed this one did too. The warranty was about to run out as well, so I’d need to get an extended warranty… “Did I make the right choice?” I wondered.

Well yesterday I took that little car in for its first service. Tyler, my familiar service rep, told me it was good to see me and he’s happy I wasn’t hurt in the accident. Then he checked the computer on my new (used) car. Lo and behold, the original owner bought a service package and my 35,000 mile check-up was free! I left while they completed the work feeling elated and grateful. When I returned to pick up the car, Tyler rattled off a long list of free repairs they performed and handed me my keys.

“Wait, how are the breaks?” I asked.

“Great” he said, “You have a long way to go on those breaks.”

Moral of the story? Reason and intuition are completely different! Reason wanted me to choose a more “practical” vehicle. But I chose to listen to the buoyant voice inside me saying, “Life’s short, drive fast.”

Love has a mind of its own. For those who have refined their lower impulses – thereby not losing vital energy on drama and compulsions – life energy is able to rise up within to the level of the heart where it takes on the quality of love.

When it reaches this level it is no longer possessive or exclusive, rather it is free and inclusive. It spontaneously reaches out to metaphorically kiss random people, animals, and various objects of affection. It is often surprising to see where love chooses to go, and it is always extremely gratifying. Compassion fills your body and you feel boundary-less.

In order for your love to be free, unhealthy attachments need to be released. Connections with others are beautiful and natural, but sometimes we get confused and believe that we need people to act a certain way in order to experience well-being. Be entirely honest with yourself – are you okay, even wonderful, despite whether people choose do what you want them to or not? If the answer is yes, then your love is free, if the answer is no, then the life and love within you needs to become more valuable than the forms that surround you.

Unhealthy attachments to food, substances or negative behaviors also need to be released so that vital energy doesn’t get sucked into a self-defeating vortex prior to reaching your heart center. This is accomplished by choosing inner peace over immediate gratification.

The highest nourishment, joy and fulfillment is awaiting – so free your love – and watch in amazement as it jumps out of you in the most unexpected places.

Visit  www.IntentionLove.com to catch some inspiration and take a look at the Free Your Love tees!

1.  Connect with your spiritual core every day. This requires being alone and being without distractions. Meditation is a natural choice. And, by the way, meditation is nothing more than actively connecting with your inner self through your breath. So keep it simple. Just breathe and try not to think! When you do have a thought, gently redirect your attention back to your breath. You can do a sitting mediation or a walking meditation. The only requirement is that you are by yourself and not focused on anything else, such as your favorite rap song. If listening to some instrumental music helps you meditate, by all means, go for it. But avoid music with words during your meditations. I’m not going to say how long you should meditate. This is up to you. A Course in Miracles suggests “Taking quiet time as soon as possible after waking… continuing a minute or two after you begin to find it difficult.” It is ideal to connect with your spiritual core or God just before bed as well, even if it’s just for a moment.

2.  Take some time to communicate with your inner self. After connecting with your spiritual core in silence, take some time to hear or feel what it wants you to know. Because the life within you wants you to evolve (love) as a way to make more room for its expression, it will tell you exactly what to do to further your growth. It might be helpful to write in a journal so you remember the insights you receive during this time. Of course, you will receive insights at different times of the day as well, especially now that you are nurturing an active connection with yourself. It can be helpful to write these things down so that you can review them later. Don’t be surprised if the intuitive nudges you get are ridiculously practical. Spiritual energy needs us to be healthy on every level for it to gracefully flow forth without blocks. So when you get the nudge to stop drinking diet soda, for example, don’t dismiss it – do it!

3. Ask for clarity, conviction and courage. Sometimes it takes a while to trust your inner self. Intuition can be vague, so it’s okay to ask for more conviction about the feelings you’re getting. Personal growth that is directed by life is generally transformative. That means you will systematically be led toward behaviors that will cleanse, renew and strengthen you on every level. This involves releasing old energies, which takes courage! Ask your inner self for clarity about what to do next, and then ask to receive conviction that it’s the right thing for everyone involved. Finally request the courage to follow-through. If you don’t have the courage to do what you need to do today, perhaps you will tomorrow! Just keep it light and stay connected.

Tension is the result of unspoken words and unexpressed feelings. The mounting energy creates an invisible wall between two people that can be downright painful to experience. Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the tension?

Here’s the thing. Energy is contagious. We all feel what’s happening on some level. Learning to express yourself openly is one of the best things you can do – for yourself, your relationships, and the world. When you’re blocked inside with unexpressed feelings and unspoken words – the energy that nourishes and sustains you becomes obstructed. It doesn’t feel right. Sometimes, out of sheer avoidance, we get used to how this feels and the thought of opening the proverbial can of worms is downright terrifying. We’d rather down a fifth of vodka than to start expressing that which we have suppressed for so long…

Your energy flow is how you “become the change you wish to see in the world.” It is how you demonstrate peace and well-being, and how you nourish those around you. I would like to invite you to attend my Clean Communication workshop next Friday morning 8/13 from 9:00 – noon. We will be exploring how to keep communication channels open – both within you and between you and your friends and loved ones.

Communication is spirit in action – communion. Don’t wait another day to become a clear, bright presence in this world.

The details are on my website: http://970.285.myftpupload.com/keynotes-workshops/organizational-workshops/

“When the mind is trying to control the heart, you can only be guided into situations that force you deeper into your heart. When the mind is honoring the heart, you can be guided easily towards the heart’s goals.”

I saw this quote in one of my favorite newsletters by Ann Albers. It is so true! Listening to the heart is not always easy. It guides us toward love, and this guidance often competes with the fear-based small mind.

Do you have any questions for your heart? Simply sit quietly and take a few deep breaths. Then put your hand over your heart and ask it a question. It will tell you! My head usually shakes yes or no as the answer and then I might hear some inner dialogue, but you may just get a felt sense of what it is saying, or a “knowing.” It will answer any questions you have.The feeling you get from the answers is peaceful and reassuring – not neurotic and fearful like the ego or small mind. When you’re done, make sure to thank your heart and tell it you will always listen.

Life is so much easier when we listen to our hearts. It absolutely takes courage to do so because it marches to its own beat and rhythm, rather than the mass consciousness of the material world. But when we do, life is graceful and easy as we move toward our heart’s desires.

http://visionsofheaven.com/AAngels/newsletter_2010_0724.html

Right now I’m reading a book called The 7 Secrets of Synchronicity. I’ve always been one to pay attention to how the outer world surprisingly mirrors the inner world, but reading this book is really magnifying my awareness of synchronistic events.

Last night I opened the book and there was a sketch of a dandelion. I didn’t think too much of it because I’m aware that the dandelion is a powerful symbol in our collective consciousness right now. But this morning when I came into my office to meditate I noticed – as if for the first time – that the image on my calendar for July is a dandelion. I thought to myself, “Okay, this symbol applies to me right now,” which makes sense because I’m going through some significant changes. To me, the dandelion – in the form above – represents new life due to the beautiful way the seeds are dispersed after the flower dies.

I briefly looked at my bookshelf and around my office to see if I could spot any more dandelions, and then moved on to my morning meditation. Afterward, I checked my email and noticed an unread message that I had received from my sister yesterday. When I clicked on the link contained in the email the above image of a dandelion popped up. Beautiful.

Synchronicity is subjective. Only you recognize when it’s intended for you, and only you can interpret the meanings contained in the various symbols. Of course, there are symbols that have collective meaning as well, which often applies, but the final interpretation is whatever makes sense to you.

For me, these seemingly random events – which are anything but random – help me know that the unseen world is vast and supportive as we move through this sometimes confusing maze called life.I hope your day is full of “The peace which passeth understanding,” and that synchronicities pop up everywhere, whispering that you’re on the right track.