Author: Kimberly Kingsley

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At One

Reconciling spiritual truth with material appearances can be challenging. I remember early on in my spiritual journey, when I’d have a fight with my husband and try to meditate it away. It never worked. I ended up having to process my feelings the good ol’ fashion way and then express myself, my frustrations and my needs. How utterly human…

These days I’ve come to appreciate the dance between being both spiritual and human. The spiritual part of me puts everything into perspective, while my humanness gets to enjoy relationships, good food, and the beauty all around me.

Another spiritual principle that seems to contradict human reality is how we are all “at one.” It’s not that hard to make the leap when you think of someone you love and have a close relationship with, but what about someone you used to love or have never loved? Feeling at one with someone you’ve chosen not to have a relationship with can be challenging, yet we can’t deny the truth of our spiritual unity.

It seems to me that the secret to honoring our essential connection with one another is to follow the path of peace – letting the form of the relationship be determined by what gives both parties inner peace -without trying to force any particular physical connection. This could involve never seeing or talking to the person, or it might mean seeing them only occasionally or when needed for practical reasons.

It seems to me that being at peace with the form a relationship naturally takes is the way to relax into the sea of oneness that is our spiritual reality.

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Emotional Tornadoes

I continue to be baffled by the lack of knowledge most of us have when it comes to processing our emotions. It’s not surprising really. We’re not taught anything about our emotions in school, and we learn how to deal with our emotions at home by observing other family members.

A lucky few come from healthy families where emotional maturity is modeled, but the rest of us have to learn from whatever sources are available, and a lot of what is taught about emotions is incomplete at best, and sometimes even downright wrong.

Take for example, the simple idea of talking to a friend when you’re highly emotional. This is considered a healthy thing to do, but in reality it is not always the most productive. If you think about it, intense emotions are like a tornado of swirling debris that needs to run its course before any items fall to the ground that can be salvaged. If we talk to a friend during the tornado, many times more energy is added to the emotional storm along with throwing in a few of their own items (advice), resulting in increased intensity and confusion.

I do believe that emotional support is essential for every human being – we are relational beings who need each other to grow and thrive. At the same time, we also need to be able to contain our own emotional storms long enough for them to settle so that we can regain visibility.

Here’s the nugget in this idea: emotional energy needs to be contained long enough to distill into something valuable. Once the dust settles, the main points will be left in plain view to be dealt with productively.
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The Yin Deficit

According to Chinese philosophy, yin and yang are always working together to create perfect balance. Yin is about receiving. It is the dark side of the yin yang symbol – the side responsible for regeneration and renewal. Yang is the bright side, and is is responsible for giving and action.

Our society values yang. We want to be productive and always moving (myself included). We call ourselves “lazy” when doing nothing. The problem with this emphasis on Yang, is that we are now out of balance. We are so under-nourished and starving for renewal that we are running even faster and doing even more in an attempt to feel satisfied.

A lot of my work has been on the subject of mindless consumption – the tendency to over-spend, over-drink, over-eat, over-work, over-socialize etc. This is a problem that has now led to the collapse of our economy. It is causing more and more of our children to become obese, and is leading to ever increasing levels of addiction in teens and adults.

The only way to transform this imbalance is for more of us to cultivate the ability to receive. We do this by taking time each day to receive our own spirit. As we become energized from within, giving and doing take on new purpose. Instead of chasing ourselves, we extend ourselves. Instead of over-consuming, we express our essence. Instead of being a bottomless pit that can never get enough, we show up for our lives full and share our light with the world.
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Inspiration

Anna and I have a tradition of going to the Desert Botanical Gardens. Most years we go during the day and take in the beautiful landscape and visit the butterfly pavilion (If you haven’t ever visited a butterfly pavilion, put it on your list!)

This year we went at night to see the glass exhibit. We are standing in front of one of the sculptures in this picture. They were all breathtaking. Many of them mirrored shapes naturally found in the desert.

I appreciate these moments of inspiration so much. They don’t need to be as spectacular as this exhibit to float my boat. Spring time is a source of inspiration in and of itself. The warmth, the sound of the doves, and the increased sunlight at the end of the day. Being inspired (in spirit) is what life’s all about.

What’s inspiring you?

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Transforming Addictive Patterns Group

“An individual can become addicted, dependent, or compulsively obsessed with any activity, substance, object, or behavior that gives him/her pleasure.” – W.R. Miller

Anything from ongoing relationship conflicts to emotional eating and binge drinking can take on a life of its own and lock us in its tight grip. Nothing steals our inner peace more than addictive patterns, which literally drain the life out of us.

To this end, I’m starting a group called Transforming Addictive Patterns: A Holistic Approach to Recovery and Beyond. The group will focus on the common elements of healing rather than the addictive patterns themselves – as what we focus on expands, so why not focus on health and inner peace!

It will be held at my office in Scottsdale on Monday nights from 6:00-8:00. Please call 480-443-0840 or email contact@kimberlykingsley.com for more information.
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Kindle

Have you heard of the Kindle? It’s an electronic reading device developed and sold by Amazon. It is quickly catching on with avid readers. Last week I saw Jeff Bezos (Amazon Founder and CEO) in an interview speaking about the Kindle phenomenon.

The Kindle is a wireless, hand held reading device about the size of a book. The screen looks like book pages – antique white paper with black letters. You can download a book in 60 seconds from your couch or favorite reading chair.

I know this sounds like a commercial about Kindle, but I have not taken a marketing position with Amazon;) I am however, interested in how the magical device will change the evolution of book distribution. The books are a lot cheaper – The Energy Cure is 7.99 on Kindle versus 12.99 retail – and it’s an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional printing.

So far there are 240,000 books available for the Kindle and more are being added each day. Bezos said his goal is to have every book ever written available for Kindle readers to access at any time. Cool huh!
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The Harmony Myth

We all want to live in harmony, but many people confuse the absence of change with peace. In order to experience authentic peace – both within oneself and with other people and nations – one must be willing to experience the bouts of tension and discomfort that accompany transformation. Constant harmony does not exist and the idea that it should is a myth.
Take weather for example. Most of us consider clear blue skies to be ideal, but storm clouds eventually roll in, bringing needed moisture and clearing the air. Harmony in any given climate does not come from the absence of stormy weather, but arises out of the dance between clear skies and dark clouds. The same is true within individuals – harmony is not the absence of heavy emotions and periodic discomfort, but the outcome of embracing all our emotions, knowing that they come and go like the weather.
– Excerpted from upcoming Portals of Peace

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Closer than your breath…

Once in meditation I received the impression of God being closer than my breath. Think about it – closer than your breath – that’s pretty darn close. Since then, I’ve been deeply comforted by the whole idea. But it’s more than him being closer than our breath, God is our breath, our cells, and the air around us.

Even though we all know God is not a man with a beard living “out there” somewhere, this idea is deeply held in our collective consciousness, doing us a huge disservice. I believe it is the reason we so often pursue happiness outside ourselves. Those of you who read Opening to Life may remember me talking about “the treadmill effect” – us chasing our spirit, but never finding it.

What if we experienced the fullness of God in every breath and even in between breaths? What if we knew that the substance of our being is the same substance that creates everything else, and therefore that, in truth, we are in need of nothing? This is our evolutionary point right now. We are moving from duality to integration – from chasing life to embodying and expressing it.

Next time you find yourself wanting something that you don’t have, try taking a deep breath and then receiving the energetic quality of whatever you’re seeking. God truly is closer than your breath, waiting to be received in all Her glory;)
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More on Will Power…

There was so much good dialogue generated on the last will power post that I wanted to share some of it with you.

One of our frequent visitors, Ms. Melissa shared that the tricky part about will power is using it in a way that is aligned with your higher self. I whole-heartedly agree. When will power is used to try and puff up the ego (ie. restricting oneself only to look perfect or working hard simply for power or money) it can actually undermine authentic growth and spiritual evolution. My experience is that if your will is not aligned with your higher self it is not sustainable and will eventually backfire.

Ms. Gabi – another wise one – shared that as a body worker, she has observed that a nice balance between core strength and core flexibility correlates with being both powerful and graceful in life (I’m paraphrasing). She suspects that over-developed core strength correlates with being too “guarded” with one’s emotions and an underdeveloped core correlates with being too “open.” Good stuff – I have a hunch that the same is true for will power. Too much will in the wrong areas suffocates life, while too little disperses it prematurely, leaving one powerless…

Finally, we had a new visitor named Vincent who left an insightful comment about the three levels of will. First, there’s having the will to say “no” to what’s bad for you – junk food, over-spending, etc. The second level is saying “yes” to what is good for you – exercising, saving, eating healthy. The third level is using your will to control your thoughts and emotions. When negativity takes over, he recommends stilling your body and thinking of nothing until the emotion dissipates. He goes on to say:

“When you’ve mastered all three levels of self control, a feeling so wonderful and strong persists inside. The feeling provides an incomparable joy, much greater than that Twinkie or new pair of shoes could ever temporarily disguise as. The feeling is not at all fleeting, but strong, whole and permanent. And fuels you with an unparalleled power.”

Thanks guys – I’m truly inspired.