Most of us are attracted to others based on threads of unfinished business that are either directly connected to the person you’re attracted to, or that tie in nicely with the karmic threads of the person you’re attracted to. For example, someone who has a tendency to run away from conflict might be drawn to someone who can’t let things go. For the first year or so, the threads come together to make a beautiful bow – you feel like you fit perfectly and that you really have no issues. It is only after the honeymoon stage ends that threads start getting tangled, and begin to feel a little constricting.
There is nothing wrong with this, it is human nature. If there weren’t karmic threads, there wouldn’t be romantic attachment, you would simply have unconditional love without attachments (the exact opposite of Romeo and Juliet passion). Once the perfect bow begins to tangle, there are two options: You can either move into power struggle mode where the knots get tighter and tighter, or you begin to take responsibility for your own issues and move toward health, which will gently unravel your part of the tangled mess.
Once you start moving toward health, your partner will either take responsibility for their part, or not. If so, you two will rise up to a place of untouchable love or gracefully move apart, toward the next level of learning. If the other person does not take responsibility, the union will likely break apart, with the one who learned moving to the next level and the one who didn’t attracting more of the same. The third option – and probably what we see most – is that neither party takes responsibility and the individual and combined issues get more and ingrained, leading to an unhappy couple or a drama-filled break-up.
It takes humility and courage to face our lessons, but the outcome is inner peace and freedom from conflict and drama. Thankfully, it’s never to late to shed our old patterns… The karma waits patiently until we’re ready.